


What We Do for Each Other

by Malind



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Depression, Desire, Drunkenness, Lust, M/M, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 04:24:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9640673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malind/pseuds/Malind
Summary: Sayid has been working for Ben for almost a year now.  And it shows.





	

His fingertips laced over the heavy length at his groin, the strokes minimal.  Just enough to torture him.  Not enough to give him any hope of release.  He didn't want release.  Not in this way.  Not from his own murderous hand.  But the fingertips still delicately stroked and he reveled in the painfulness of it. 

Sayid laid his head back against the armrest of the expensive couch, pulling his attention away from his crotch covered in the thick, black cloth of his slacks.  He stared up at the ceiling of an apartment taken out under some name.  He didn't know who.  Benjamin Linus presumably rented it, perhaps even owned it.  And that was as far as Sayid wanted his knowledge to go on that particular topic. 

He worked for the man.  Killed for him, well, killed for himself.  What belonged to Ben, even if it was Sayid's own decrepit soul, what did it matter?  All that mattered was destroying those who'd destroyed her.  And then after he swam in blood that would never wash clean from his body... 

His fingers scrapped over the fabric with a harshness that brought him to hiss and to close his eyes.  A shuddering gasp escaped his slack lips. 

After...  What did it matter what came after? 

With a sigh, he grasped the length, squeezing, bring himself to moan weakly.

Somewhere inside himself, he knew it was the half-full bottle of liquor on the floor talking.   At least partially.  That, on top of the murders of a group of men he could still taste the blood of in his mouth.  Amongst other things.  But he couldn't stop the desolate notion, that Ben basically owned him for the time being, from taking over him. 

With an exhale, he finally succumbed to his body's lustful wants and opened his fly with one hand, the other one still draping off the side of the couch and holding the liquor bottle.  Just as he was about to shove his hand into his underwear though, a loud, vibrating knock sounded on the door.  His body jolted with the suddenness of it. 

Sayid ripped his hand away and grabbed at his hair instead, willing the person away, but the knocking continued after a few moments of blessed silence.  He shoved himself off of the couch with a grunt, his head pounding from annoyance, his groin from need, and nearly staggered to the door.  Slightly trembling fingers unlocked the two deadbolts before he jerked the door open. 

"Sayid," Ben said before a slight frown overtook his face.  His eyes washed downwards, most likely seeing what the torturer hadn't thought to conceal.  Ben's brows rose before his eyes jerked upwards.  

It wasn't really clear what Ben was feeling.  It never was.  Embarrassment?  Amusement? Disgust?  Who knew?  And Sayid didn't care one way or the other what the man was feeling.   

"Am I interrupting something, Sayid?  I realize I usually give you a bit more time before-" 

Sayid interrupted with a smirk and a, "No, Ben, you're not interrupting anything."  He moved to the side, letting his "employer" in.  Ben took the hint and came inside without further hesitation.  After closing the door and relocking it, Sayid turned around and walked back into the living room that was larger than his whole house had been as a child. 

Ben was standing there, taking in the mess of discarded clothing and beer bottles that had turned into an empty glass and a half full bottle that was probably still wet from his lips. 

"Perhaps I should hold onto this next assignment for a short time.  The man isn't going anywhere for a few days, after all. He checked into a hotel in... And you seem... preoccupied at the moment." 

With a slight huff that held no true humor, Sayid let himself drop back onto the couch.  "I'll sober up by the time I get there.  Who is it?" 

With pursed lips, Ben looked him over, his gaze settling on the stubborn erection still displayed by Sayid's open pants, only concealed by the thin cloth of his underwear.  "Perhaps you should..." 

Sayid looked down at his crotch and then fumbled with the zipper and button.  He re-met the other man's gaze.  "Better?" 

Ben looked down to the file he held in his hands, then cleared his throat.  "I'll come back later, Sayid."  He turned around and started heading straight to the door. 

Sitting forward, Sayid blurted out, "Wait.  Just give me a couple minutes.  You're right, I wasn't expecting you so soon.  But... I don't want to merely lie here any longer.  Please, sit." 

Ben turned around, eyeing Sayid in a way only Ben could for a few seconds, before he slowly walked back to stand in front of the coffee table.   

"Sit." 

Ben looked to the chairs and then walked over to one of them and sat down carefully.  And that began an awkward moment of silence.  Sayid laid his head back, trying to will himself sober because the uncomfortableness was surely caused all by himself.  But he couldn't help the quickening of his heart when Ben repeatedly looked at him but then looked away, again and again, Ben's mouth occasionally opening but then closing again.   

Perhaps he should have just let Ben leave like he'd wanted to.  It wasn't as if Sayid was going anywhere, like he had anywhere to go. 

Those constant looks though, whatever caused them, they were doing little in helping his erection go down, which now strained under his pants' waist since he hadn't bothered to shift it downwards before.  The looks were doing little because he was sure his erection was the focus of Ben's attention.

And what a sad and sorry state he was in to be aroused by it.  Worse, it wasn't the first time this had happened. 

Was he so alone?  So lost that he heated under this man's attention?  What was it about Ben, of all the people in this world, that his body disobeyed his mind with a willingness that maddened him?  Perhaps... 

Perhaps it was because Ben knew exactly what Sayid was, was even some of those same things himself, and Ben still looked. 

...What Ben gave him, probably without truly meaning to, was an acceptance that went beyond Ben providing the list of names of people to kill, the very reason why Ben was there at that moment.  It was an acceptance that churned Sayid and made him want to make Ben stop, because it was something Sayid could never do for himself.  But that want never became action for a reason he wasn't about to name.

Then Ben was standing up.  "Sayid, I'll come back tomorrow.  Try to get some rest." 

"Ben-" 

"Tomorrow."  Then the man's quick stride took him to the door.  In the next moment, he was out of it with a near slamming of the door. 

Almost one year since he'd starting working for Benjamin Linus and what had it really gotten him?  At that moment, he didn't want to know.  The only thing he wanted to be sure of was the blood he drowned in. 


End file.
